FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2

Being superficial by nature is not a badge I want pinned on my shoulders. It’s not something I am proud of but I know the pendulum of attention has an anomaly and it often strikes boredom more than it strikes engagement. And boredom is the mother of divided attention (and grandmother of superficiality). It’s the boredom that makes me painfully sleepy and yawn without any guilt, and a yawn without any guilt is a tipping point of any cordial conversation. It’s the most undermined yet the most critical block of a Jenga tower. You wouldn’t think you could fuck it up, but you do actually fuck it up and the whole tower comes down crumbling.

The boredom from one source makes the trivial things from the other sources more exciting.

I mean, there are things, then there are things that are better than the things that you are trying to occupy yourself with. And then there is a guy trying to dodge a bullet by his crazy girlfriend in a mall. Wouldn’t you look at such a couple, as they walk past you a little faster than they should, saving embarrassment of sorts? The guy getting elbowed in his belly. Him jerking her hand off. Her handbag and the mania that it consists of, getting scattered on the floor; a hand sanitizer, a lipstick, crumbled tissue papers, a half-eaten chocolate, just one diamond shaped earring, entangled earphones, a phone charger that was bit-off by a rodent, band-aids for bruises and a bunch of random pills for headache that she can’t pronounce. Her perfectly drawn eyeliner getting smudged due to water works caused by the acute pain at the waist when she tries to pick up the clumsy spread while struggling to keep the balance of her polished pencil hills. Ah sweetie, so much OCD outside, but so much chaos inside!

The phrase “dodging a bullet” perplexes me. Who other than Keanu Reeves dodges bullets? And how do they do it, if they aren’t in The Matrix? “The bullet time”, is not a concept in the realm of humanly possibilities. I personally have never been able to dodge bullets in any form, shape, or speed; 5mms, 22 hornets, 50-90 sharps, Royal Enfield, bullet points in a presentation. None of these. I have always been shot, run-over, or intimidated by bullets. I am lazy, and my reflexes are lazier. If my body was Zootopia, my reflexes will be Flash. So, an answer to the age-old question, “Would you take a bullet for me?”, is highly unrealistic and extremely confusing for me. I am not brave or fast enough. If I love you, I will take a swiss knife from a noob.

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