I have an old joke that I wrote a few years ago about my attention span. Ready? Here it is: Me: You know, I have the attention span of a goldfish She: What? Me: What?
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #5
Not Really a Review: Born A Crime: Childhood from a South African Childhood
But in all seriousness, this book is entertaining, funny and educational. It makes its point, tickles you and then leaves you with an imagery or a thought so disturbing you feel bad for laughing at the previous line. These are all the ingredients you want in a book written by a comedian, or in a great comedy piece; push the boundaries, punch as far up as possible, make a great (preferably an unpopular) argument, but most importantly make the audience uncomfortable.
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #4
So, I am reading that novel, alright. I am paying attention for say, some good thirty-seven seconds. During this time, the whole world around me has ceased to exist. It’s just me and my breath, and of course the cologne of these words sprinkled over these pages. I don’t feel any eyes on me and nothing distracts me at all. You could strip me down, doodle a penis on my face, and stuff my pet in an oven and turn it on and I wouldn’t pay attention. However, on the thirty-eighth second, something happens. Maybe the author uses the word, “suddenly”, to describe an expected set of mundane events. It throws me off. I suddenly stop reading it.
Review: Then She was Gone
**This review has spoilers** Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell is a thriller about a fifteen-year-old girl Ellie Mack, who one fine day disappears without a trace, scarring and disorienting a family that never recovers from it. The story (for the most part) is told from the perspective of Ellie’s mother Laurel and her … Continue reading Review: Then She was Gone
The Cheese Mountain
He wants cheese and he works really hard for it. And it’s not that he only wants cheese, he is sometimes okay with bread too, brown ones, white ones, dough in any form, really. Especially if they are moist, soaked in milk, pleasant to bite at. Sometimes he fancies wine too, but doesn’t have the … Continue reading The Cheese Mountain
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #3
Anything that can’t grab my attention is the job of worst kind for me. Even if it is something fun; say playing a video game with tricks and codes that can make a particular level easier – or boost my avatar’s powers – is automatically a task for me. And tasks shouldn’t be a part … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #3
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2
Being superficial by nature is not a badge I want pinned on my shoulders. It’s not something I am proud of but I know the pendulum of attention has an anomaly and it often strikes boredom more than it strikes engagement. And boredom is the mother of divided attention (and grandmother of superficiality). It’s the … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2
FARTS OF SPEECH (Attention Deficiency) #1
My attention span is abnormally minimal. In fact, let’s just say, if it was my wage I would be perpetually broke. If it was my dress, there would be plenty of naked hairy legs. If it was a response, it would be a: “?” or, “fuck, what?”. If it was a text, it would be … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (Attention Deficiency) #1
FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #6
If I asked you to list down all the things that made you angry, would you be able to do it? I certainly wouldn’t be able to do it. In fact, my first item on the list would be, “making a list”. Making a list in my experience is writing down everything that I consider … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #6
Farts of Speech (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #5
I heavily disregard the idea of physical fighting. Unless you are aiming for the Olympics or UFC, you shouldn’t body wrestle anyone you don’t want to fuck. Because usually in a wrestle, there is too much of intimacy and hand holding. Which then makes people question your unspoken preferences after a point. I think you … Continue reading Farts of Speech (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #5
