I have an old joke that I wrote a few years ago about my attention span. Ready? Here it is: Me: You know, I have the attention span of a goldfish She: What? Me: What?
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #5
Tag: Humor
FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2
Being superficial by nature is not a badge I want pinned on my shoulders. It’s not something I am proud of but I know the pendulum of attention has an anomaly and it often strikes boredom more than it strikes engagement. And boredom is the mother of divided attention (and grandmother of superficiality). It’s the … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ATTENTION DEFICIENCY) #2
FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #6
If I asked you to list down all the things that made you angry, would you be able to do it? I certainly wouldn’t be able to do it. In fact, my first item on the list would be, “making a list”. Making a list in my experience is writing down everything that I consider … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #6
Farts of Speech (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #5
I heavily disregard the idea of physical fighting. Unless you are aiming for the Olympics or UFC, you shouldn’t body wrestle anyone you don’t want to fuck. Because usually in a wrestle, there is too much of intimacy and hand holding. Which then makes people question your unspoken preferences after a point. I think you … Continue reading Farts of Speech (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #5
Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #4
Being angry doesn’t necessarily mean you fight the person. It doesn’t mean you cause him physical harm and chew his ears off. You’re not Mike Tyson. You don’t have a lisp or a face thattoo. You have an arm tattoo, which is basically your own name written in ambigram and you’re tired of people asking … Continue reading Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #4
Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #3
It’s not like I cannot keep my anger in check or that I will, without any concerns, snap at an authoritative figure who could fuck me over. Nope. Being angry does have its own share of perks at some selected places. Airport immigration being a major exception. Nostril flaring, sarcasm, or direct insults should be … Continue reading Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #3
FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #2
I often come across these pious coercers who offer me the advice: Holding on to anger is like, drinking poison and expecting others to die. Sorry, you’re confusing suicide with murder. You’re worried about me causing self-destruction or at the very least going Van Gogh. I am endorsing: emotional harm, harsh-criticism and belittling, wherever appropriately … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (ANGER MISMANAGEMENT) #2
Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #1
The inability to stay cool and calm, because why the fuck should you! People always tell me that anger isn’t good for me. They tell me, it doesn’t accomplish anything and that every time I get angry, I move closer to death. I am not sure how that works; maybe I shrink in size and … Continue reading Farts of Speech (Anger Mismanagement) #1
FARTS OF SPEECH (SELECTIVE MUTISM) #6
Awkward dates, where I may like someone, but struggle to strike a conversation with the person, is when I am at my worst. My brain freezes. Thoughts, ideas, and words refuse to come out. And if they do, they tend to be incoherent, inadequate, and idiotic. Boy, do I get lexical constipation! Soon I am … Continue reading FARTS OF SPEECH (SELECTIVE MUTISM) #6
Farts of Speech (Selective Mutism) #5
My mutism is more prominent around my own folks, in fact, some of my vivid childhood memories come to me as my quiet five-year-old puny ass sitting in a random relative’s house; bored or upset, desiring a cookie or a cold-blooded murder. I often heard anticipatory whispers from the other rooms, recognizing my quietness as … Continue reading Farts of Speech (Selective Mutism) #5
